Car-less

Last week I was seated around a spacious table with a few of my co-workers working diligently on a new project. We had just finished a great meal and were finishing up the small details pertaining to the completion of the new initiative. As often happens after meals, my mind was prone to wandering and I glanced up at the tv right above our table. Some program about a car show was on and I didn't think too much of what was going on, nor was I much interested in what was happening. Suddenly someone mentioned that the car that the camera had focused on was a '68 something or other, to which someone else responded that this was not the '68 version, but the '65 model. The feeling that washed over me was similar to the feeling I got about two-thirds of the way through Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen; I had no idea what was going on. I saw that there was a car on the screen and that it looked like an 'old' style car and that people were looking at it. In Transformers I was aware that explosions were happening and that some robot vehicles were fighting for some reason, but beyond that I had no idea what was going on.

I don't think I am alone in saying that when it comes to cars the best thing that I can come up with to say is that the car looks cool, nice, or big. I suddenly revert to a third grader trying to describe his house in my elementary vocabulary. There must be some generational gap when it comes to car knowledge or maybe I'm less inclined to pay attention than other people. I do not know anything about old cars except that they are old. I can distinguish a Mustang, or Camaro, and even the rare Corvette, but when it comes to years and models, I have no idea how people can tell what is what and does it really matter. Apparently one model was better than the other for some reason that no one can really explain, it just is general knowledge.

Everyone has heard stereotypical jokes about men and their adoration for cars. Men love cars, they fix cars, they wash cars, they go for long drives in their cars in the fall, they grill out of the back seat in their cars, they make out in cars, they do everything with their cars. It would seem that the whole reason for man's existence begins and ends with a car. I remember watching Home Improvement in my youth and wondering why the "Tool Man" was always working on his car or talking about a car. I mean always. A full 25% of the scenes were of him in his garage working on his car with his friends, boys, even his wife, and oddly enough many times he was all alone working on the car. As a child I was taught that a good portion of my everyday life must be spent doing something with a car. I had better things to do as a 12 year old and skipped the mandatory daily sessions working on a car. On another note, if a life form from another planet could only tune in to Home Improvement episodes they would be convinced that man had some sort of amorous relationship with his car. (heck, even I was convinced of this, no wonder Miss Taylor was always so upset with Tim, he was stepping out on her)

My lack of knowledge or even concern for vehicles led me to wonder about the following question. Will the cars of this generation be considered classic cars in the future? When someone calls a car classic, I'm not even sure what that means. I do know there is nothing classic about a Corolla or Accord. So my answer would be no. Which means, that unless this generation goes and researches old cars from the 50's to 70's, people will just stop caring. I can't recall a conversation where I sat around and talked with my friends about cool cars. (except after each and every Fast and Furious movie and in that case we only talked about how fast those cars were, and to boot, those cars were civics, nothing classic about that). Why would we talk about cars? Did guys ever just sit around and talk about how cool cars are? Maybe they did, but that seems way outdated. To car lover's defense, I'm sure that people still do get together and talk about their cars that they've owned in the past and how cool they are and that's great for them.

Now there is one area of pop culture that has embraced mentioning cars and showing them on music videos. You guessed it, hip hop!!! Country music videos with hicks driving old beat up trucks around just never caught on. I suppose that the hip-hop culture does talk a lot about cars, but usually they only refer to the price tag, rims, or how many hood rats are draped over the vehicle. And all of those things are just bragging anyway (I've never seen a rap video where they are doing an oil change or rotating the tires). So, after all I do suppose that there is some contemporary discussion (if you call a scantily clad woman washing a Maserati as a discussion, I do, that is something to discuss for better or worse) or cars, but it's not a conversation I'm likely to join in on soon, unless a new Fast and Furious movie comes out soon.

My Liberty Jail (Part One)

Liberty is perhaps the most ironic name for a prison, unless somewhere an inmate somewhere is sitting in Freedom Jail shaking his head slowly. That’s like naming the biggest buffet in Louisiana “Slims” or referring to the largest inmate at the state pen as “Tiny”. Most cities have jails and the jail usually follows the name of the city (Salt Lake County Jail). In Mormon historiography, Liberty Jail was where Joseph Smith was unjustly incarcerated for 4 months during 1838-1839, however the title Temple Prison was later associated with this locale because of the tender revelations that were received here and now reside in the LDS scriptures the Doctrine and Covenants. Those familiar with Mormon history are well aware of the content and circumstances that brought about these revelations. This location was probably the last place that Joseph would expect to receive a revelation. But do revelations ever really come when or how we want them to? It is my experience that this is not the case, inspiration comes when and how the Lord sees fit. Certainly we have places of refuge in Temples, Churches and even our own homes that are conducive to revelatory experiences. However, I believe it is possible that someone can elicit responses from the divine in prison type surroundings, just as Joseph did. These locations may in fact include spiritual or physical prisons (the Church actively assigns member to visit prisons to those members who have made mistakes and end up there). I witnessed first hand how a prison like atmosphere can induce one to want to be better and led to think more clearly on what direction their life should take. In no way do I intend to encourage people to seek such an environment for divine inspiration, but sometimes a glance at a riotous and sinful type of life can lend itself to the realization about how good life is without those influences .

Another weeknight sprawled across a sofa clad in basketball shorts and a hoodie watching sports was the pinnacle of what my genius could come up with to entertain myself. Luckily a friend with promises of hot tubs, games, and girls was the incentive I needed to pry myself off the couch with a rain check promise that I would soon return to my sanctuary. Rushing through my pre hang out warm up I showered, dressed and even doused myself in some smell goods (cologne for those of you who aren’t familiar with the term smell goods). Within the hour I was at my friend’s doorstep ready to meet some new people and hopefully meet a great girl. My optimism was approaching defcom three status (which is really high, there are four defcoms). This night was going to be awesome!

Two hours crawled by as the girls continually prolonged their proposed time to meet up with us, patience was certainly waning and the initial optimism had all but dispersed. I think that once you hit that second hour of waiting for someone to get ready you start entertaining other ideas of something to do, any idea, ideas of dollar movies, play box (xbox), or anything that doesn’t involve waiting longer for someone to put on clothes and comb their hair. We would have welcomed a coloring books with open arms at this point (and don’t think that thought was not entertained).

Finally the time arrived that the girls where ready (I could have gotten ready 17 different ways in the time it took them to prepare themselves) and we pulled up to one of their houses. The optimism was back, we were finally going to meet up. This night was going to be great! And then…the butterflies of the stomach variety were replaced with a large stone. As soon as I looked out the window a shudder of disappointment rippled through my whole body (I believe, and my friend confirms, that my body actually shook). The girls were dressed like women of the night, harlots, whatever you want to call it. I was in jeans and a t-shirt. Looking back I’m not sure if I was more rattled by the outfits or what the outfits suggested. We would not be going to any movies tonight; hot tubs were a distant thought, my longing for my comfortable sofa refuge at home would not be seeing me for longer than I had supposed. Those outfits suggested only one option for that night’s activities, we were going to one location and one location only…..we were going clubbing.