I’m reminded of a story that I heard or might have even made up about a young parent who had a baby girl. That parent cared deeply for the young girl and did everything possible to provide for her all of the opportunities that would lead to a successful life. As time progressed, the parent began to neglect the girl with the promising future by denying financial and emotional support. See, the parent had other pressing issues to worry about instead of the future of the little girl; powerful rich friends often requested help from the parent to set in order their affairs. That once promising young girl was quickly forgotten and left to her own devices to find success. You may be surprised that you already know this negligent parent and young girl; they often go by their more familiar names of the United States government and the public education system.
Most of the demise of the public education system can be traced back to one single event. Some suggest the end of segregation, Republican budget cuts or Mormons having way too many kids (I just threw this in for fun because it’s just this empty rhetoric the church is often criticized for). These are all wrong; David Hasselhoff had a better chance of winning dancing with the stars than any of these being legitimate causes of the education downfall. No, the real reason this happened is because of a well known movie that came out in 1986, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. This movie glamorized the notion of not going to school. Before this movie came out, no child or teenager had probably ever played hooky instead of attending class. The concept of not going to school was outlandish and completely foreign to students in the United States; (almost as foreign as Spin occurring in the Bill O’Reilley No Spin Zone) no one thought it was possible. To say that the fad of cutting class caught wild fire is an understatement, Ferris essentially ruined the American school system by teaching it was cool not to go to class.
For those of you who haven’t been alive for the last twenty years or in a hole and not seen this anti-school propaganda film, Ferris Bueller is a young boy who develops an intricate plan to not go to school for one day. Principal Rooney (Ferris’ arch nemesis) does all he can to foil young Ferris’ plans and at one point even shows up at the house to gather evidence in hopes of expelling the brash young school ditcher. Mad props are due to the nefarious Principal for going above and beyond his call of duty, but as we’ll see it was of the utmost importance that Ferris’ not get away with his radical ways. Never has someone done more to attack the public school system and never has someone accomplished so much in one day off of school. Ferris did the following things in roughly seven hours:
Talked his friend into also cutting class and picking him up
Schemed to getting girlfriend out of class and then picked her up
Attended a Chicago Cubs Game
Went to tour the Sears Tower
Walked through the Art Institute of Chicago
Crashed a massive parade in the middle of the city and “Twisted and Shouted” all over it
Weaseled his way into a High-end Restaurant for lunch
Went swimming with his friends
The amount of time this would take any normal human being to accomplish is roughly 38 hours (give or take), but Ferris’ magically achieves so much in just seven hours?!?! Let the delusion begin!! Teens everywhere were suckered into believing they too could cut class and crash parades. (Why do you think we no longer have random parades in the middle of the week with thousands of people?, that is how the world was before this movie came out). Kids realized that 1) principals were not in fact student’s pals (or prince’s for that matter) 2) crashing parades was normal 3) cutting class was the coolest thing ever and if you had a fun enough day they might make a movie about it some day.
No matter how you slice it a pie is still a pie and no matter how you slice skipping schools it’s still giving the old screw you to lady America. But I must digress for a minute. Is the education provided for in America’s school really worth not cutting class? As I illustrated in the beginning, the deplorable state of America’s schools has left many children unable to receive the education that will provide them with the skills they’ll need in life. “Waiting for Superman” is a movie about children throughout the United States who are trying to get the best education possible. Some must go through admission processes that utilize a lottery selection; which doesn’t allow some children to attend their preferred school. This process is difficult for families with low incomes because they often do not have access to the same private institutions as higher income families if they are not accepted. Interestingly enough, many school aged children could ditch school to watch a movie about how inefficient school is; they would learn more about school by not going to…. wait for it…school. I don’t necessarily condone this behavior, but I don’t criticize it either. The purpose of schools is to provide learning, but if instruction isn’t adequately offered children should not be punished for not attending?
In high school my friends and I always tried to replicate Ferris' sweet day off, but we always fell short. We went to hang out at an abandoned house and it got cold so we left and went back to school. Other times we went and played basketball or nintendo at one of my friend's houses. The best time that I ever had when ditching school was to go see Star Wars 2: Attack of the clones. I never traveled more than 10 miles away from my school in all of the times that I ditched, and as you can tell I never did anything remotely cool at all. Basically, there was nothing worthwhile to miss school for and I probably did myself a great disservice by not attending school, even though I got great grades. There really was no reason to go if I could maintain high marks and enjoy some friend time, even though I never had close to the day that Ferris did.
Ferris’ wasn’t too concerned with the equality inefficiencies that exist in schools, but no doubt he wanted there to exist an option that the school system and provide a fair shake to all children. I have some suggestions. 1) Rank schools based on objective criteria that is public information to all families. The parents can choose where their kids go and the schools that underperform are shut down. Nothing motivates an institution to perform like the threat of closure. 2) Schools should be able to specialize in certain subjects. I hated art, science, and history in school. Why couldn’t I have gone to a school that specialized in math and economics; wouldn’t that prepare me better for my future than superfluous time wasting subjects? Yes, and so would other children who would have thrived at an art, music, of even a sports school. America is based on choice, let the people choose. Perhaps there is reasoning behind teaching a wide range of subjects to children, but to me it seems an inefficiency of the system. There are many problems with the school system and I’ve tried to offer some suggestions instead of simply criticizing the problem. The circumstances will get better over time or America’s youth will continue to ditch school. Maybe Ferris was on to something deeper when he decided to take that day off.
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