Anklitis

As soon as I landed I knew that this was much worse than any of the other ones. I've been prone to ankle sprains for the last decade or so. The first time that I ever had an ankle injury was one spring afternoon in the backyard of one of my good friends. As precocious young children we often sought fun in precarious ways. On this particular day my neighborhood cohorts and I encountered a number of mattresses in a dumpster. Naturally, we laid claim to our treasures and took them back to my friend Shu Shu's house. We started jumping on the mattresses while imitating wrestling moves for a few hours until one of us realized that the mattresses were probably extremely dirty. It was then that we started spraying the mattresses off with a hose and were surprised to see a foamy liquid emit from the first mattress, much to our chagrin we realized that these mattresses were laden with urine from one of our good neighbors. The spraying of the mattresses continued for a few hours until we were satisfied that all of the urine was cleaned out. During the hours that it took for our new "toys" to dry we cogitated about the possible uses. Wrestling mats, makeshift sleds, a motorized bed and other ridiculous uses. We finally settled on an idea, we would jump off of the trampoline and land on the mattresses doing various stunts, flips and aerials. Now the trampoline at our disposal was not your conventional round tramp that was so common in the late 1990's, not this was one of the old rectangle tramps that provided possible injury at any jump (which could possibly be said of any tramp, although these seemed much more dangerous). The fun started off innocent enough, we'd jump off on the mattresses on our feet first and then onto our back and then some flips. The ante kept on escalating until finally I decided to jump as high as I could and land on my feet on the far side of the mattress. I took off confident in my take off, but quickly started to fade to the right, I waved my arms frantically to try and control my drift, but as I came down my right foot landed outside the mattress and rolled my right ankle hard. It felt (and sounded) like it popped as soon as I landed. I laid down instantly and tried to move my ankle, but it was quickly swelling up to unnatural sizes. As I limped home, I winced with every step as I could barely walk. Days of my foot in ice packs and bowls followed as I utilized crutches to make my way around school and home. Since that first sprain I have injured each of my ankles numerous times. The most recent one was last Tuesday at a Church pick up game. I was driving to the middle of the lane and came down on someone's foot. As I mentioned at the beginning of this post I knew that this one was worse than the others. I could feel a small pop in my ankle and was sure that I had done some damage. I was determined to walk it off like all of the others, but my dad encouraged me to go get an x-ray. I had not been able to put any weight on my ankle for two days and was rather discouraged that I had fractured my ankle. As I sat in the doctor's office I offered a silent prayer that nothing was broken and that this wouldn't hinder me with everything that I needed to get done that week. As the doctor walked in my heart dropped, but I was soon reassured that I had only suffered a small bone chip and that the ankle would be ok. I was so relieved. The next day I found that I could move around a lot easier and that the swelling wasn't as bad as the previous day. I'm sure that there was some sort of divine intervention because there was such a stark contrast from the previous day. There was still some swelling as the days continued, but overall there should be a full recovery. I did however get a call from the radiologist today that there was a small crack in the bone that could have happened last week or could have been older. Perhaps that first trampoline incident was more serious than I first anticipated, but I feel blessed to know that I should be fine.

Here are some pics of the recent injury



.

When in 'Doubt, fire' the ex

Last night as I was impatiently waiting for the Jazz game to come on because of an error with FSN, I randomly came upon a show that I had not seen in years. The story was a simple one, man has marital issues, man divorces wife, man attempts to win kids over (fails), man becomes house maid dressed like an old lady to stay close to the kids and keep tabs on his ex. You’ve guessed it, the incredible story of Mrs. Doubtfire!!! Apparently my memory is not so good because after watching for a couple of minutes I couldn’t believe how crazy the premise of this movie is.

Take a second and pretend that you are fifteen years old again. You have seen your dad everyday of your life and know him better than you know anyone else. Unfortunately, your parents decide to get a divorce and to compensate for taking care of you and your siblings, your mother hires a housekeeper. Oddly enough the new housekeeper looks exactly like your dad in a huge fat suit (Mrs. Doubtfire is the largest British housekeeper ever, has a strange body structure, and always wears the same thing), and to boot has a funny accent (did I mention that your dad was a professional at impersonations?) At any point would you suspect that this might be your dad? (you nodding your head slowly) YES!!!! It’s such a convoluted plot. How did the writers create the script? Here’s my take:

Screenwriter: Ok, I just talked to Robin Williams and he wants to make a new movie. He wants to do lots of impersonations and funny voices and that’s about all he said.

Writer: Hmmm, he does do that fantastic old English lady impression.

Screenwriter: Yeah, I’ve seen that. Ok, let’s see…how about he impersonates a housekeeper of some government official so that he can spy on them?

Writer: No, he’s not a great action actor. We need something with kids.

Screenwriter: He’s a hip housekeeper for street kids and helps them get their lives on track.

Writer: Wasn’t that kind of the premise of Hook?

Screenwriter: Ok, they’re his kids and he’s trying to be around them without them knowing it’s him

Writer: You’re on to something…

Seriously, how was this movie created? (It was actually based on a book, but it’s funny to think of a bunch of writers sitting around trying to create a movie this movie out of thin air) When I think of how you could get this kind of story I am stumped. Despite my misunderstanding of how this movie was created, I found some parts of the movie very funny, especially when you contrast it with Arrested Development. For AD fans, you’ll remember how Tobias dresses up as Mrs. Featherbottom so that he can see his daughter more regularly, but it is painfully (as in laughing too much pains) obvious that Tobias is the new housekeeper. I know I’m a bit late to hop on the mocking bandwagon of Mrs. Doubtfire, but AD ridicules how blatantly obvious it is that Robin Williams is the housekeeper in Mrs. Doubtfire. Does the movie ever address why there no background check? Name check? (how many Doubtfires exist?) Social Security check? Did Mrs. Doubtfire go to all this trouble to provide this false information?

All this thinking about Mrs. Doubtfire led me to some self evaluation. Don’t we sometimes want to remain in the lives of those who we break up with? Many people react to break ups in the same way as Robin Williams reacted to the break up with his (her) family in this show. I came up with six similarities:

1) After break ups, many girls (and boys) quickly find a way to get back into their ex’s lives. Examples include, attending the same church or club, going to a party they know the ex will be at, or in one crazy case actually moving into the same apartment complex as the ex. (this really happened and they are actually married now) Most people try to stay around and be friends with the ex in vain (sometimes legitimate) aspirations to rekindle the flame that has been put out.

2) Being friends with the new man (woman) in the ex’s life. Now this one is a little weird and to pull it off the person has to be very clever or subtle. In Mrs. Doubtfire, she sort of befriends Pierce Brosnan (new boyfriend) to keep loose tabs and make fun of him at every opportunity. Sometimes it is a lot more obvious. One time I met a really cool girl and we soon became friends on Facebook. Later that same day I received a friend request from someone who I did not know at all. I noticed that his friend’s included the girl I had recently met and her sister. When I questioned the girl about this she confirmed that he was her ex and that he added every boy that she met. I’m serious about this. The funny part was when I was hanging out at her house a week later and he came over. “Hey, you added me as a friend last week on facebook.” He mumbled something and walked into the other room. Weird…..

3) Parties. This is the easiest way to stay around in someone’s lives, especially with the advent of Facebook. Mrs. Doubtfire always finds ways to be at her (his) kid’s big events even though the dad can’t be there in person. He is still involved in the fun times. How easy is it to go and see what events someone is attending and randomly show up at that event (on the contrary this can help if you don’t want to randomly run into someone at a party)? Parties are a non-confrontational, relaxed environment that provides a place of casual conversation with an ex. Parties are a safe place to “run into someone” and chances are that the other person is going to be civil and maybe even kind. If you are really lucky they’ll realize that they made a huge mistake and start trying to date you again. Maybe.

4) Text. Although the texting craze hadn’t quite hit a stride yet when this movie was made it still proved that limited contact was necessary at some level. Robin Williams could see his kids once a week and only for a brief period and he was still relevant in their lives. The text offers limited contact in our day, but can mean many different things. Usually we have no idea why an ex is texting us, but this list gives a pretty good overview:

a. I’m sorry I hurt you

b. I hope that you come around

c. I’m still thinking about you

d. I’m not thinking about you enough to call

e. I still want to be friends

f. I want to ask you some irrelevant question that I already know the answer to

g. I’m lonely

h. I want to get back together

i. Remember how good of times we used to have

j. I am lost and have no idea what I’m doing

k. I want to hurt you in some way

l. I want to show you that I am more mature than you

m. I want to see you to see if there is anything between us still

The list goes on and on and on. The text is a wildcard. No one really knows what the other person’s motives are in texting. That is why it is called text, its 160 characters of words. Trying to derive any emotion out of text usually leaves people more confused. One of the most confusing things in a text from an ex is ‘how are you’? “Well I’m sad, you dumped me” “I’m over you”, how to you respond? There is no way to decipher what the words ‘how are you’ really mean. Refrain from using this at all costs.

5) Wasn’t Mrs. Doubtfire essentially stalking her (his) ex and children? He was obviously not in full custody of his children and seeing your children when you don’t have visiting rights is illegal. Stalking also happens when break ups occur. This does happen. The bad thing about stalking is, it is so easy. People can of course do it from a distance these days through social networking, but does that really diminish how crazy it is? There are times when you want to see how the ex is doing or what they have been up to lately, but it can go much further than that. I guess as long as you aren’t dressing up as a housekeeper at your ex’s house and cleaning up after them you are probably in good shape.

6) The straight up approach. At the end of Mrs. Doubtfire she finally comes clean, or rather is found out. She (him) states her motives, her love, her desires for her children and a reasonable solution (reasonable in the sense that this would be unsettling to find out your dad has been cross-dressing for months) is found. Sometimes the best solution is to get back together and sometimes the best solution is to cut all ties with the other person. If there exists any smidgen of doubt about where the relationship stands, the best thing to do is talk about it directly with that person. I spent the better part of a few years reading into signals (I guess they weren’t signals) that I perceived to be someone’s interest and I was wrong. I should have asked some tough questions and been clearer.

Maybe the writer of Mrs. Doubtfire had been divorced, maybe the screenwriter had been in a tough relationship and then tried to reconcile with his ex. Someone got the inspiration to write this movie and provide a blueprint of how to not do things when it relates to a break up of any kind. There are kernels of wisdom in explicitly not following the path that Mrs. Doubtfire walked.

A ride on the Ferris wheel

I’m reminded of a story that I heard or might have even made up about a young parent who had a baby girl. That parent cared deeply for the young girl and did everything possible to provide for her all of the opportunities that would lead to a successful life. As time progressed, the parent began to neglect the girl with the promising future by denying financial and emotional support. See, the parent had other pressing issues to worry about instead of the future of the little girl; powerful rich friends often requested help from the parent to set in order their affairs. That once promising young girl was quickly forgotten and left to her own devices to find success. You may be surprised that you already know this negligent parent and young girl; they often go by their more familiar names of the United States government and the public education system.

Most of the demise of the public education system can be traced back to one single event. Some suggest the end of segregation, Republican budget cuts or Mormons having way too many kids (I just threw this in for fun because it’s just this empty rhetoric the church is often criticized for). These are all wrong; David Hasselhoff had a better chance of winning dancing with the stars than any of these being legitimate causes of the education downfall. No, the real reason this happened is because of a well known movie that came out in 1986, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. This movie glamorized the notion of not going to school. Before this movie came out, no child or teenager had probably ever played hooky instead of attending class. The concept of not going to school was outlandish and completely foreign to students in the United States; (almost as foreign as Spin occurring in the Bill O’Reilley No Spin Zone) no one thought it was possible. To say that the fad of cutting class caught wild fire is an understatement, Ferris essentially ruined the American school system by teaching it was cool not to go to class.

For those of you who haven’t been alive for the last twenty years or in a hole and not seen this anti-school propaganda film, Ferris Bueller is a young boy who develops an intricate plan to not go to school for one day. Principal Rooney (Ferris’ arch nemesis) does all he can to foil young Ferris’ plans and at one point even shows up at the house to gather evidence in hopes of expelling the brash young school ditcher. Mad props are due to the nefarious Principal for going above and beyond his call of duty, but as we’ll see it was of the utmost importance that Ferris’ not get away with his radical ways. Never has someone done more to attack the public school system and never has someone accomplished so much in one day off of school. Ferris did the following things in roughly seven hours:

Talked his friend into also cutting class and picking him up

Schemed to getting girlfriend out of class and then picked her up

Attended a Chicago Cubs Game

Went to tour the Sears Tower

Walked through the Art Institute of Chicago

Crashed a massive parade in the middle of the city and “Twisted and Shouted” all over it

Weaseled his way into a High-end Restaurant for lunch

Went swimming with his friends

The amount of time this would take any normal human being to accomplish is roughly 38 hours (give or take), but Ferris’ magically achieves so much in just seven hours?!?! Let the delusion begin!! Teens everywhere were suckered into believing they too could cut class and crash parades. (Why do you think we no longer have random parades in the middle of the week with thousands of people?, that is how the world was before this movie came out). Kids realized that 1) principals were not in fact student’s pals (or prince’s for that matter) 2) crashing parades was normal 3) cutting class was the coolest thing ever and if you had a fun enough day they might make a movie about it some day.

No matter how you slice it a pie is still a pie and no matter how you slice skipping schools it’s still giving the old screw you to lady America. But I must digress for a minute. Is the education provided for in America’s school really worth not cutting class? As I illustrated in the beginning, the deplorable state of America’s schools has left many children unable to receive the education that will provide them with the skills they’ll need in life. “Waiting for Superman” is a movie about children throughout the United States who are trying to get the best education possible. Some must go through admission processes that utilize a lottery selection; which doesn’t allow some children to attend their preferred school. This process is difficult for families with low incomes because they often do not have access to the same private institutions as higher income families if they are not accepted. Interestingly enough, many school aged children could ditch school to watch a movie about how inefficient school is; they would learn more about school by not going to…. wait for it…school. I don’t necessarily condone this behavior, but I don’t criticize it either. The purpose of schools is to provide learning, but if instruction isn’t adequately offered children should not be punished for not attending?

In high school my friends and I always tried to replicate Ferris' sweet day off, but we always fell short. We went to hang out at an abandoned house and it got cold so we left and went back to school. Other times we went and played basketball or nintendo at one of my friend's houses. The best time that I ever had when ditching school was to go see Star Wars 2: Attack of the clones. I never traveled more than 10 miles away from my school in all of the times that I ditched, and as you can tell I never did anything remotely cool at all. Basically, there was nothing worthwhile to miss school for and I probably did myself a great disservice by not attending school, even though I got great grades. There really was no reason to go if I could maintain high marks and enjoy some friend time, even though I never had close to the day that Ferris did.

Ferris’ wasn’t too concerned with the equality inefficiencies that exist in schools, but no doubt he wanted there to exist an option that the school system and provide a fair shake to all children. I have some suggestions. 1) Rank schools based on objective criteria that is public information to all families. The parents can choose where their kids go and the schools that underperform are shut down. Nothing motivates an institution to perform like the threat of closure. 2) Schools should be able to specialize in certain subjects. I hated art, science, and history in school. Why couldn’t I have gone to a school that specialized in math and economics; wouldn’t that prepare me better for my future than superfluous time wasting subjects? Yes, and so would other children who would have thrived at an art, music, of even a sports school. America is based on choice, let the people choose. Perhaps there is reasoning behind teaching a wide range of subjects to children, but to me it seems an inefficiency of the system. There are many problems with the school system and I’ve tried to offer some suggestions instead of simply criticizing the problem. The circumstances will get better over time or America’s youth will continue to ditch school. Maybe Ferris was on to something deeper when he decided to take that day off.

He ain't heavy, he's Kris.

One of my favorite things is when I notice something funny and have someone else notice the same thing at exactly the same time. That knowing glance from a friend that indicates they are on the same page as you is validating. Earlier today I was sitting in the foyer before class as this man walked by with his stomach hanging out of his shirt. At first I was caught off guard, but as I looked over to my friend sitting next to me I saw a sly grin spreading across his face and we both started laughing. No words were said, no synopsis of the random event was given, just a hearty chuckle. I couldn't have been more amused. Maybe it is the thought that someone understands or thinks like we do that causes us to feel a solid connection from moments like this. Being on the same page is not always so simple though and usually direct communication is necessary when trying to get on the same page as someone else. I like to use the example of being a missionary and finishing up teaching a principle. There are many ways to pass the discussion on to the companion, a subtle voice inflection, a testimony, or a quick glance. There are times though in any presentation when you have to be very direct. "Elder 'XYZ' will now teach us about faith."
You just have to say their name and what they will be doing. This can be frustrating for both parties. The way I fix this problem is through practice, but I've found that time and experience usually solves all problems eventually.

One weekend night recently I was preparing myself for a scheduled date.(I highlight scheduled because we both knew the time and I confirmed the date) I was really excited to go and had been looking forward to this date all week long. About twenty minutes before 'kickoff' I received a lengthy text explaining how it was not going to be possible to meet up that night due to unavoidable circumstances that had not be foreseen. (By the way any time cleaning is involved in an excuse the offended person should be able to collect some sort of severance, please never use cleaning in any form to get out of a date) We've all been stood up before and I understand it is a necessary part of the dating cycle, but it still leaves a bitter taste in the mouth. Anyway, with my suddenly free night I decided to go see a cinema by myself. Pathetic huh? Actually no, you should be saying how resourceful I am at doing something at a moment's notice. Upon my arrival home that night from my solitary evening I texted my brother encouraging him to see the movie that I had just seen. In a few short minutes I received the same text from him, telling me had just got done seeing the exact same movie and that he shared my sentiments. I couldn't help but smile, his fiancee had been out doing something with her friends and he had come to the same conclusion as I had. Two brothers in separate cities going to the same movie alone at the same time. There is nothing like being on the same page as someone. There are two, maybe three people that I am on the same page with consistently, one of those people is my brother.

Kris and I have not always been on the same page, in fact we often butted heads about trivial things in our youth. This was never more apparent to me than when we traveled to the Far East together. Soon after Kris got home from his mission, we journeyed to Hong Kong together. The following situations illustrate how we were not really of the same mind set at all:
1. Crossing the street-We were not familiar with the opposite direction of traffic on our second day in the city. We were crossing a road in the Wan Chai district when on our left we saw cars coming rapidly towards us. I raced across the street and attempted to jump a four foot high railing. As I tried to clear the jump I caught my foot and fell onto the other side of the railing right on my back. The sidewalk was crowded with lunchtime goers and many stopped, looking bewildered at my folly. My brother came around the rail, which I had failed to see, instead of hopping it and laughed at my misfortune. I hadn't followed him to the easy route he had shown me and paid for it with asians enjoying my misfortune.
2. Ocean Park-This is one of the main attractions in Hong Kong. This place is an Asian version of Sea World and sits on the South Side of Hong Kong Island. As Kris and I left the park we hurried to a bus that was about to leave. Kris was lagging behind a bit and we arrived at the bus as it was about to leave. I had arrived a few seconds sooner and realized that I didn't have adequate change for the bus fair. Incensed that my brother was taking his sweet time I turned around and started quickly walking back to get change at the front office. Kris once again came lagging behind and as he reached me asked why we had come back. I told him that I needed change and he informed me that he had sufficient fare for both of us. I was irate for some reason and yelled,"why the (really bad expletive) didn't you say anything?" I then sat down by a fountain and put my head in my hands. This was about the fourth day of the trip and I think we were getting sick of each other. We weren't communicating well at all and our relationship really suffered. To this day I don't know why I was so uptight.
3. The Models-One day in Mong Kok, Kris and I were buying some counterfeit sweaters. I was looking at some bracelets and as these two girls walked by I said, "can I get a second opinion?" That led to Kris and I hanging out with two girls, one from Germany and the other from Uzbekistan, for a good portion of the day. We thought they were beautiful and indeed they were until one of them lit up a cigarette, then we just thought she was hotter. They invited us to a party that night at the Dragon Bar. I really did not want to go because I was so tired, but Kris was adamant about going. I've never seen him so determined to do something in all our lives. He tried in vain to get me to join him, but I refused. He ended up leaving around ten o'clock to meet the girls at the party. I got ready for bed and was just falling asleep when he came back into the room. I never learned how far he actually got, but I was glad that he came back home. That didn't stop me from laughing the rest of the trip about his determination in going to meet the girls though. Part of me wishes we would have gone to the party, but the story is better this way.

This trip was really fun and we had a lot of good times, but I wasn't as kind as I should have been to my brother. Instead of bringing us closer, I felt like we were so very different and there arose a small strain in our friendship. The problem was that I was not communicating with him at all, and took for granted that we would understand each other after not seeing each other for 3 and a half years. That was the time we spend without seeing each other due to our missions overlapping. Over the years we have grown a lot closer to each other and I now consider him my best friend. We talk almost every day and I find him texting me about something funny that I happen to be reading or listening to at that very moment. As he gets married in two weeks, I couldn't be prouder of my little brother. He's the man that I want to be and constantly humors me with his funny antecedents and one liners. I'm glad that we had this experience and feel that my brother and I once again understand one another.

Whale of an Offense

“You know how [insert friend’s name here] is always so rude and always telling lies, I just can’t figure it out, she/he is such an enigma and makes me so frustrated, but I love him/her.” I have spoken ill of my friends, I have often criticized, mocked, harangued, and even scoffed (that’s right I’m going to use a biblical term) at them. Often, my motives stem from the fact that it is just something to talk about or something that intrigues me, and often I can’t find anything interesting to say about myself. However; I’ve found that many people, including myself, like to cover ourselves when we make such comments and we marginalize our critiques with certain phrases that make us seem a little less mean-spirited. Truly I don’t believe that we are generally mean-spirited creatures, that is why contemporary talk includes phrases such as ‘but I love him’, ‘with all due respect’ and ‘no offense’ that indicate that we don’t want to cause ill towards others; or at least leave other people with the impression that we revel in tearing down our friends.

“With all due respect” inevitably means that you are about to disrespect someone with the very next comment. This phrase is ostentatiously used as a precursor to an insult. Can you imagine Truman at the outset of World War Two saying to Germany “with all due respect Germany, you really fought hard and made some incredible tactical decisions and it’s been such a pleasure to have engaged you in globalwarfare for the last four years”? No, you can’t! There is no respect due and in many cases when we say with all due respect we are indicating that there is no respect involved at all. I’d like to propose a change to this common phrase. Say it only when you want to say something respectful to someone like “With all due respect, you ate that chili cheese dog with poise and integrity” or “With all due respect, I really respect you.” When you ‘due’ someone respect, it’s probably correct to say something positive. The same pattern can be utilized with the term “No offense”. Has there ever been a time when you said no offense and then didn’t offend someone in even the slightest way? I’m just going to start saying “OFFENSE!” or “with offense” and then say what I would normally say with “no offense”.

When Pinocchio shamelessly plagiarized the bible and jumped in that whale (echoes of Jonah anyone?) I was just as livid everyone else. But what really steamed my engines was when he had the audacity to gloat about having no strings to hold him down. This caused parents everywhere to cover their children’s ears due to the subtle implication that children didn't require 'strings' meaning parents. That wooden ‘real’ boy was a ‘real’ menace. Thankfully the bible was safe from Pinocchio’s blatant stealing when it stated “let your words be either yay yay or nay nay.” (I’m taking credit and intellectual property rights fees if this ever appears in a rap song, because don’t lie, it would be an awesome chorus) When we offset a discouraging word with a caveat of optimism we’re sitting on the fence. Let's be honest and consistent!

I freely admit, just as Pinocchio freely admitted that he could talk to crickets (you kidding me?, this also led children to believe that animals could talk, which eventuality led to the widespread disappointment of said children, myself included). It is hard to talk about others without being slightly negative; negative things are a lot funnier. It’s hard to laugh about someone’s good qualities. “John is such a great writer, he comprised this beautiful sonnet dedicated to his grandmother, it was hilarious.” There is nothing funny about that.

I guess I just wanted to write a blog throwing Pinocchio under the bus (or under the whale in this case), but I do believe that some consistency can be achieved in how we speak about our fellow man. What do you say? Yay Yay?

m night 'sham'amalan

There has to be some reason why movie executives continue to green light multi-million dollar projects for someone who has not made a good movie in 8 years. Truth be told, no matter how bad M. Night Shyamalan's movies are, people still go to see them on opening weekend. I officially stopped about three movies ago, but found it strange that his movie career can be used as a blueprint for most of my recent relationships. I'll provide the similarities numerically.
1) At first glance (preview) I am intrigued. "This could be awesome!" I'll see the trailer for a movie and am instantly pulled in. (Perhaps all of his movies should just be trailers, by far his greatest talent) It's too bad that the trailer never translates into a good movie. In the same vein, the first time I meet a girl I am interested in her, her 'preview' is good and I want to see more and get to know more about her. Thoughts fly through my mind of her being the one or at least being an awesome girlfriend. In both instances, I am convinced that I need to learn more about this situation.
2) After seeing a trailer I like to dig a little deeper and learn more about the movie. This is done by reading reviews or production tidbits. I love knowing how a movie is made, whether it be what kind of filming techniques are used, where it was filmed, cost, or any other aspect that comprises the final picture. Some people like to go to the theater and sit down with no prior influences and see experience everything fresh. I wish I could do the same, but I have never been able to. I am one of those people who does weekly google searches for "New Indiana Jones film". I get excited about this kind of stuff. I get excited about girls too, always have. I like to learn about them. I like to go to their houses and meet their "production crew" (parents). I like to get to know their "editing crew" (friends). I like to dig through their garbage and find things that they have thrown out (ok, not really that last one) These things help me understand the person better and how they act and why they act a certain way. Often times this can generate lots of excitement about a female or movie, and other times it can shoot up red flags faster than the Jersey Shore boys can kick 'grenades' out of their hot tub. Recently, additional information has led me to be cautious when contemplating viewing a new film or squiring a new lady. With M. Night, words like over budget, filming delays, Writer (he's an awful writer), raise more red flags than a mustachioed man with an overcoat driving a non-descript van. I've promised never to see another movie that he is the principle writer for. (which i'll be regretting as soon as a new trailer for one of his films appears) With girls it is very similar, silver platter, raised by maid, rode to her sweet 16 on an elephant; these phrases rattle me like a hot Mexican reporter in an NFL locker room (see: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/09/14/new-york-jets-reporter_n_716136.html) Although I've never actually heard any of these terms used when referring to a potential gf, you get the drift. The red flags are very apparent and should be avoided like, hmmm....let's say an M. Night movie to use an obscure reference.
3) There is an old adage, you have to spend money to make money. That is not the case with M. Night movies. You have to spend a lot of money to get horrible critical reception and a box office dud. M. Night movies have require a lot of investment, just like in the initial dating process there is a lot invested. I've probably spent a bulk of dating money on the first three dates in relation to any other time frame of dating. I want to impress, I want to throw out the big cash money, but sometimes that is where I lose. The times when I've tried to give the nicest gifts have led to the absolute worst outcomes. I don't believe M. Night has been much more successful, his recent track record.
"Lady in the Water" estimated loss at $100 million
"The Last Airbender" cost $150 million, do you know anyone who has seen it?
"The Village" dropped nearly %70 of the viewers from the first week to the second week, meaning that no one was telling their friends to go see it. They all got duped into going the first week because they saw an awesome trailer and hoped for the best.
4) Disappointment!!! Ever heard of Lady in the Water, The Happening, The Last Air Bender, even the poorly written Unbreakable??? Ahhhhh!!! All of these films have been painful to watch. I haven't seem the last one, but it is currently getting a 7% out of a possible 100% on Rotten Tomatoes. To add caution to the wind a new movie called Devil is coming out soon that M. Night wrote. Don't go see this movie!!!, you'll just be disappointed once again.
Besides The Sixth Sense, I give some credit to Signs, but that's just because of the line "Swing Away" at the end. Really, one of the great climactic events of the film. However, I found this odd. The water being accidentally knocked on the alien clued in every human being on earth that to kill the aliens you simply add to spray some water on them. Really?!? Three weeks had passed and I'm sure the army was using every weapon known to mankind to quash this alien invasion and a kid 'swinging away' in the middle of a corn field figures out that this is the secret to saving earth!!! You see what I am saying? Anyway, when you finally get to the theater or to the point of wanting to really date someone you are often teetering on possible disappointment. Phrases like "I had no idea it was about this from watching the trailer" "This was not what I expected at all" can easily be transferred to "This girl isn't who I thought it was" or "Wow, you think you know a lot about someone". Usually if you have been suckered enough to get to the silver screen you are going to get burned.

As with M. Night, his first try at a major motion picture was his best and so was mine as far as dating. We keep hoping that he will make a good movie, but deep down we know that we will be lucky to just get a few good trailers and maybe some day a great movie. I keep holding on to hope that one day I too will 'Swing Away' and find a rare winner, (as long as she doesn't like M. Night Shyamalan movies).

Schooliosis

I have been out of full-time school for one year now. It was a year ago to the day that I went to see 17 again instead of attending my graduation. That's right, 17 again. I think that watching a movie about a boy who gets to be 17 again (hence the name) was better than going to my own graduation. Probably not one of the better decisions of my life, but I'm okay with it.
Today I was accepted into the MBA program at the U of U. I was very excited to find out because I didn't think I would hear back for a few more weeks. I was actually calling to see if my transcript had arrived and when I called the lady asked my name so she could look me up on the system. I said that I needed to apply to the Master's in Finance program and was wondering if I had done everything. She said, "well it says here that you have been accepted into the MBA program". I couldn't believe it. She dropped the news like it was no big deal and I was caught way off guard. To put it simply, my journey to get into this program has been crazy. I've had to leave work and drive to the U in the middle of the day, I've had to pay more fees than I thought possible, I've had more frustrations than I thought possible, but today a nice young lady informed me that my efforts were not in vain. So stoked!