Wednesday, October 6, 2010

He ain't heavy, he's Kris.

One of my favorite things is when I notice something funny and have someone else notice the same thing at exactly the same time. That knowing glance from a friend that indicates they are on the same page as you is validating. Earlier today I was sitting in the foyer before class as this man walked by with his stomach hanging out of his shirt. At first I was caught off guard, but as I looked over to my friend sitting next to me I saw a sly grin spreading across his face and we both started laughing. No words were said, no synopsis of the random event was given, just a hearty chuckle. I couldn't have been more amused. Maybe it is the thought that someone understands or thinks like we do that causes us to feel a solid connection from moments like this. Being on the same page is not always so simple though and usually direct communication is necessary when trying to get on the same page as someone else. I like to use the example of being a missionary and finishing up teaching a principle. There are many ways to pass the discussion on to the companion, a subtle voice inflection, a testimony, or a quick glance. There are times though in any presentation when you have to be very direct. "Elder 'XYZ' will now teach us about faith."
You just have to say their name and what they will be doing. This can be frustrating for both parties. The way I fix this problem is through practice, but I've found that time and experience usually solves all problems eventually.

One weekend night recently I was preparing myself for a scheduled date.(I highlight scheduled because we both knew the time and I confirmed the date) I was really excited to go and had been looking forward to this date all week long. About twenty minutes before 'kickoff' I received a lengthy text explaining how it was not going to be possible to meet up that night due to unavoidable circumstances that had not be foreseen. (By the way any time cleaning is involved in an excuse the offended person should be able to collect some sort of severance, please never use cleaning in any form to get out of a date) We've all been stood up before and I understand it is a necessary part of the dating cycle, but it still leaves a bitter taste in the mouth. Anyway, with my suddenly free night I decided to go see a cinema by myself. Pathetic huh? Actually no, you should be saying how resourceful I am at doing something at a moment's notice. Upon my arrival home that night from my solitary evening I texted my brother encouraging him to see the movie that I had just seen. In a few short minutes I received the same text from him, telling me had just got done seeing the exact same movie and that he shared my sentiments. I couldn't help but smile, his fiancee had been out doing something with her friends and he had come to the same conclusion as I had. Two brothers in separate cities going to the same movie alone at the same time. There is nothing like being on the same page as someone. There are two, maybe three people that I am on the same page with consistently, one of those people is my brother.

Kris and I have not always been on the same page, in fact we often butted heads about trivial things in our youth. This was never more apparent to me than when we traveled to the Far East together. Soon after Kris got home from his mission, we journeyed to Hong Kong together. The following situations illustrate how we were not really of the same mind set at all:
1. Crossing the street-We were not familiar with the opposite direction of traffic on our second day in the city. We were crossing a road in the Wan Chai district when on our left we saw cars coming rapidly towards us. I raced across the street and attempted to jump a four foot high railing. As I tried to clear the jump I caught my foot and fell onto the other side of the railing right on my back. The sidewalk was crowded with lunchtime goers and many stopped, looking bewildered at my folly. My brother came around the rail, which I had failed to see, instead of hopping it and laughed at my misfortune. I hadn't followed him to the easy route he had shown me and paid for it with asians enjoying my misfortune.
2. Ocean Park-This is one of the main attractions in Hong Kong. This place is an Asian version of Sea World and sits on the South Side of Hong Kong Island. As Kris and I left the park we hurried to a bus that was about to leave. Kris was lagging behind a bit and we arrived at the bus as it was about to leave. I had arrived a few seconds sooner and realized that I didn't have adequate change for the bus fair. Incensed that my brother was taking his sweet time I turned around and started quickly walking back to get change at the front office. Kris once again came lagging behind and as he reached me asked why we had come back. I told him that I needed change and he informed me that he had sufficient fare for both of us. I was irate for some reason and yelled,"why the (really bad expletive) didn't you say anything?" I then sat down by a fountain and put my head in my hands. This was about the fourth day of the trip and I think we were getting sick of each other. We weren't communicating well at all and our relationship really suffered. To this day I don't know why I was so uptight.
3. The Models-One day in Mong Kok, Kris and I were buying some counterfeit sweaters. I was looking at some bracelets and as these two girls walked by I said, "can I get a second opinion?" That led to Kris and I hanging out with two girls, one from Germany and the other from Uzbekistan, for a good portion of the day. We thought they were beautiful and indeed they were until one of them lit up a cigarette, then we just thought she was hotter. They invited us to a party that night at the Dragon Bar. I really did not want to go because I was so tired, but Kris was adamant about going. I've never seen him so determined to do something in all our lives. He tried in vain to get me to join him, but I refused. He ended up leaving around ten o'clock to meet the girls at the party. I got ready for bed and was just falling asleep when he came back into the room. I never learned how far he actually got, but I was glad that he came back home. That didn't stop me from laughing the rest of the trip about his determination in going to meet the girls though. Part of me wishes we would have gone to the party, but the story is better this way.

This trip was really fun and we had a lot of good times, but I wasn't as kind as I should have been to my brother. Instead of bringing us closer, I felt like we were so very different and there arose a small strain in our friendship. The problem was that I was not communicating with him at all, and took for granted that we would understand each other after not seeing each other for 3 and a half years. That was the time we spend without seeing each other due to our missions overlapping. Over the years we have grown a lot closer to each other and I now consider him my best friend. We talk almost every day and I find him texting me about something funny that I happen to be reading or listening to at that very moment. As he gets married in two weeks, I couldn't be prouder of my little brother. He's the man that I want to be and constantly humors me with his funny antecedents and one liners. I'm glad that we had this experience and feel that my brother and I once again understand one another.

1 comment:

Megan said...

Yay for siblings :) This post warmed my heart.